Malled to Death

While we’re on the subject of unpleasant shopping experiences…

My definition of Hell on earth: anywhere within a one-mile radius of Garden State Plaza. If I’m denied a cloud in Heaven, Garden State Mall will be my eternal damnation. Nowhere on this planet exists such a vile, jam-packed mess of Jersey-fied consumption and over-stimuli, with dudes clad in skinny jeans (or pants on the ground), gaudy jewelry, unlaced sneakers, and hair gel. My passage to Hades will include navigating GSP’s perilous parking lot in search of a spot, only to be denied at every turn by double- and triple-parked gargantuan SUV’s.

Looking Like a Fool
Photo courtesy of Mungu

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